how do u ask

i asked this question on the board of wedding bee
which i adore
and here are the responses

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how do you ask your bridesmaids and maid of honor to be in the wedding?
do you email? text? phonecall? letter?
also in this shaky economy, how do u ask in a way that they aren't burdened?
posted by misolee 1 posts 21 hours ago

I did it different for each of my girls. One of my bridesmaids knew as soon as I was engaged she was a bridesmaid so I just made it official by asking her in an email. One of my other bridesmaids is 10 years old so I called her and asked her and explained it all. I asked another bridesmaid via card with STD in the mail. I sent her my save the date in a card that read I hope you mark this down because I want you to be a bridesmaid...Will you be a bridesmaid in my wedding? Then I asked my MOH in person with a gift and card. She and I are huge Colts football fans we even went to a game the two of us one year. So, I got her a Colts football and in the card it read:
Peyton Manning has Reggie Wayne and Marvin Harrison I have had ____ and ______. I want you to be the Matron of Honor that takes it to the endzone. Will you be my MOH?
I had two previous MOH's who did not work out (one said she wanted to do it then said she was to busy and was not in the financial situation to be head of everything, and the other and I were living together and had a huge falling out where my life was put at risk and needless to say we are no longer talking). So that is why I put I have had ______ and __________. You can do it anyway you want. I have heard of someone who took her girls out for dessert and when they opened the desert menu it was a little card that asked them to be in her wedding.
posted by wubz 90 posts 20 hours ago

My sister asked me by taking me out to tea, she asked her other bridesmaids by either bringing them out to this place in town that has a chocolate buffet or she asked them by dropping by their houses with a cookie that had a note imprinted on it asking them to be her bridesmaids.
posted by Newport Nuptials 25 posts 20 hours ago

I asked my MOH BEFORE I got engaged, so no surprise there but my others, I called and asked.
posted by TallBride 590 posts 19 hours ago

I wanted to ask all my BMs at the same time (although they all KNEW who they were going to be already), so I bought some cute stationery and placed cute personal notes in the mail to each of them on the same day. I called the MOH and told her I was sending something in the mail, to call me when she was opening it. Then, I met with the local girls for lunch and a ring-showing/pre-planning/giggle fest.
I knew which of my BMs would find the idea more of a financial burden than others, and let them know that I would do everything in my power to keep the costs low (I meant it too), but that I understood if they had to say no for financial reasons.
posted by MrsCPT 12 posts 16 hours ago

my MOH and one of my BM knew they were going to be in it, but i had not officially asked them yet, so after we went out one night we got back to the house and i (being goofy) got down on one knee and "proposed" to each of them asking them to be in my wedding. they laughed and said yes.
posted by lagizzle 14 posts 14 hours ago

I picked up cheap (but super cute!) wedding-themed cards from Target's dollar section. Each card had a sparkly blue gown on the front that resembled a bridesmaid dress.
Then, I gave my best shot at writing a sweet note to each friend about why she was important to me and how much it would mean if she stood beside me on my wedding day. It was simple and very affordable, but I put a lot of thought into what I wrote to each girl, and I know it meant a lot to them.
posted by linzella 56 posts 1 hour ago

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such great advice from the community!
i def want to do something creative...
and more personal than a phone call or an email

as speaking from someone who got burned by this process
i wanted to do it delicately and yet in a way to show
my love and gratitude to my friends
it's interesting how everyone seemed to already know..
hmmmm

any ideas?