So it's been forever plus a day! Since the last post (over a year ago)... I struggled with secondary infertility, we took fertility meds to help get pregnant, had a easygoing pregnancy, and just had a beautiful baby boy! With that, I wanted to document his birth story so here goes!
As with all VBAC birth stories, it actually starts with the birth of your first child. EM was induced at 41 weeks because she was getting big and I wanted her out. I was 2-3cm already dilated going into the induction and was given pitocin. I progressed slowly but nicely and at 5cm, I was given an epidural because, well...the pain was unbearable. After the epidural, I was still progressing and reached 9cm and then it stalled for 4 hours. At that point, it had been 24 hours since my induction began, 24 hours since I started pitocin, 15 hours since the epidural, and 15 hours since my water had broken. I was advised to do a c-section and I was content (and tired) to follow the midwife and doctor's recommendation. EM was born at 6:52am, healthy and happy. The csection recovery wasn't terrible and I actually was able to bounce back really quick. All in all, I had no remorse or negative feelings about EM's birth.
Three and half years later, throughout LO2's pregnancy, my midwife and doctors told me and advised me about VBACs. Again, because my csection delivery and recovery went great, I wasn't adamant about trying for a vaginal birth. In fact, I researched and contemplated all throughout the pregnancy if I should just reschedule a repeat csec. My mom for some reason really didn't want me to have a csection again. My doctor and I talked endlessly about the benefits of a VBAC, especially if I wanted to have more kids and with my mom's swaying, I decided to at least attempt a VBAC.
Because EM was a big baby and was born at 41 weeks, my doctor did not want me to go past 41 weeks and that was my "end" date. In fact, they had me go ahead and schedule a repeat csec on that date. If I didn't go into labor naturally by then, I would have to have a csection.
Throughout my pregnancy and in my mind, I felt one or two things would happen for the birth of this baby. Because EM was really late and refused to come, I assumed this would also be the same. My midwives and doctors that I saw also reiterated that the second usually follows the pattern of the first. I assumed that this one will also not have any movement and that I would just end up going in on my scheduled csection date. Another scenario that I thought would happen is that I would go into labor naturally at the last minute, I would labor, it would fail to progress like last time, and that I would end up with a csection anyways.
It just goes to show you that with labor and delivery, all assumptions are out window and nothing goes the way you would expect it too.
My pregnancy was uneventful and not too difficult (except mothering a preschooler). As I reached 3rd trimester, many people were telling me that I was sitting low. At church, Em's preschool teachers, random people at Target. When I mentioned this to my doctor at my 37 week appointment, she laughed and said that I was barely even dilated and that it would take awhile.
I had my 38 week appointment with a midwife on Thursday morning. Again, she said I was barely dilated (maybe half a cm) and had me schedule appointments for the next two weeks. She even suggested that I could move up my csec date if I wanted too. I left feeling disappointed that I was still at 1cm. I had lunch with a friend, went to Costco, came home and saw that the bathrooms were dirty and cleaned. I went to bed feeling normal. We always wake up EM at 1am to have her go potty and just like routine, I woke up and took her potty and laid back down to sleep. Even still at this point, I felt nothing.
I could not fall asleep and I kept tossing and turning. At one point, I felt uncomfortable and felt the urge to go poop. I sat on the toilet for 30 minutes before I realized that I was having a contraction. After the realization, the contractions started to get painful. After internally debating, I finally woke up my husband to call our emergency sitter over. As he was making phone calls and as I was packing my hospital bag (totally my fault for not prepacking), the contractions got incredibly painful. The drive is about 25 minutes but felt like forever because of the pain.
We pulled up into the hospital at 3:15am and as I was walking into the building, I could feel my water breaking. Instead of being taken into the L&D rooms, I was taken into a small room to be admitted. Even with EM, I was taken directly to the L&D room so I was confused as to why I was in this tiny and suffocating room. I suspect there are a lot of people who aren't in "active" labor and their protocol is to make sure you are before being sent to L&D. In that room, the nurse started asking me the pre-admitting questions. At this point, the contractions were getting severe and I started asking for an epidural only to be told that I had to wait until she was finished. The nurse seriously took forever typing and putting the questions into the computer.
I also need to mention that my only birth plan was getting an epidural as soon as possible. I know many women who strive to have med free births by practicing their Kegels, visualizing through their pain, hiring doulas, etc. I am not one of those women nor did I have any desire to do so. I wanted the strongest dose as fast as possible.
Anyways as the nurse was asking me stupid questions like If I ever smoked or drank, I could feel the transition of the baby coming down through the birth canal. Another nurse came into the room, yelled at the slow typing nurse to see if I had even been checked (I wasn't), and checked me herself where she started yelling again to call the midwife and that I had to be moved immediately. Normally, women walk from the room I was in to the L&D room but they were in such a hurry, they started pushing me into the new room as they called the midwife. At this point, I could feel the head coming out and I had the urge to vomit.
I don't remember much about the new room except there was a lot of activity and a lot of people in the room for it being 4:30 in the morning. The bed I was in wasn't big enough so I was asked to get up and switch to a new bed...while my painful contractions were going full force. Somehow I managed to get up and switch. It was painful. By the time I was situated in the new bed, hooked up to an IV, and everyone in position, the midwife asked me to get ready to push. I kept asking and crying for the epidural and no one ever gave me a straight answer. Finally, the anesthesiologist on standby came over and mentioned it was too late bc I was going to push. Because I was panicking, I asked for a c section. He was very calm as he patiently explained that I could be prepped for surgery...but he would have to put me completely under. I considered that for half a second before I finally stopped panicking and gave myself a pep talk. THIS was happening...it was time to meet our little boy.
I was instructed to push with each contraction and count to ten while pushing. The nurse that I hated (seriously...I'm still bitter at her) for not giving me an epidural right away was next to me telling me not to waste energy making noise but to concentrate on pushing. While it might be solid advice, I literally wanted to punch her in the face. Thankfully, an actual L&D came and took her position. Those L&D nurses are awesome. They know the right amount of instruction, the right amount of encouragement, the right amount of ordering. At one point, in the middle of a push, I had no more energy and just kind of collapsed my legs. The nurses grabbed me right up and barked at me to continue to push...It might have been harsh but it was needed at that moment for me to continue on. My poor husband had no idea what he was doing and even though the water and ice he continued to feed me were awesome..he wasn't a big help :)
All of a sudden, this male nurse came and was by my side. He was a godsend, an angel. His first words to me were.. "Do you want a cheerleader or do you want a coach? Because I can do whatever you need me to do" A cheerleader cheers and encourages you no matter what. A coach on the other hand will yell at you, push you, and toughen you up. I told him coach...and that's what he did. He pushed me when I needed it.
After an hour of pushing, Elliot was born February 12, 2016 at 5:33am. He weighed 7lbs 3 oz, 21.5 inches long. He was exactly two weeks early and came really quick with very minimal tearing. I first started feeling any sort of contractions at 2am and he was born in just 3 hours. (mental note...if I'm ever pregnant again, go to the hospital asap!)
I know many people feel great after having a natural birth, but truthfully, I was exhausted. I was tired, sleepy, and it hurt. I pushed so hard that my blood vessels on my face and eyes had popped. I had a crazy face and crazy eyes for several weeks afterwards. Since I didn't have an epidural, the pushing of the placenta was also hard and difficult. My ladyparts were in such shock that I had trouble peeing afterwards that I was put on a catheter (that hurt). Recovery was painful even after I came home.
However, I think back and I feel a sense of accomplishment for having a med free birth. I wouldn't change anything about this unique birth experience especially bc it gave me my little man!
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